Things could be worse...

When I think about everything crappy going on in my life right now, I have to remind myself that I really don't got it that bad. My empty life is all of my own fault and my bad decisions. When you choose to get involved with someone that only saw you as a bang buddy and nothing more but you chose to see if anything would come from it, and nothing does, you take your leave but still feel sad and miss that person and hope for a text or "can we talk" call one day, but nothing. Acceptance starts to sink in. My problem is I become jaded towards everyone else again. finding problems with guys. Picking out traits, actions and words that never bothered me before. Is it a defense mechanism? I don't know, might be. Anyways...
A lot of people around me right now are losing their loved ones or their loved ones are falling scary ill. My problems seem so minor compared to theirs but because they are mine, they are magnified 10x. And then when I think of the ones that have lost, sympathy for them sets in and my dumb hurt girl issues fades. I can't imagine losing a parent, and of course almost losing a child. I dread that day. I can't feel what anyone feels because I have not lived it, I can't say I understand what you're going through because I have not experienced the same. But all I can do is offer my sympathy, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. I think I'm an excellent listener. As opinionated as I am I will not have any words in this case, but I will listen to yours.

I am so far away from my family. When Mish moves back to Hawaii in May I will be the only one of my parents kids not in Hawaii. It always makes me think... Suck up my independent pride and move back to Hawaii to be closer to family.
This option is always floating around in my head and I have battled with the idea time and time again. It's getting ridiculously annoying because the outcome is always the same. You can't live alone in Hawaii unless you have an awesome paying job or roommates to split house payment with. I will not go back and have to be dependent on anyone. Well, unless I'm dead shit broke and homeless... then that's a different story.
I just try to put on a smile, fake or not, suck it up and push on.... Things could be worse.