Well technically not neighbors, just same complex neighbors I guess... This Thursday co-worker/friend is moving into my apartment complex. So excited for her. I don't think I will be doing this, but she does want me to get out of my house more often. But, but, but... Im a recluse. I don't do well socializing...hehe. We'll see what happends.
Im on here rambling because I got a tad bit annoyed while playing WoW. But meh, that talk can be done on my other blog, so Im not gonna speak of it here.
Oh!!, so most of the family are going to be coming in a couple of days, I requested off for the Thursday/Friday. but they are planning to do dinner more then the 2 nights... which might work out, I have early shifts so unless Im terribly tired from work, I can make it. I was telling Jugga (WoW buddy), this is gonna be cuttin into my WoW time. No bueno indeed... haha, I can suck it up for a couple of days right?... we'll find out. Then later on in the month, Pops, Aunty Patty and Dustyn are coming down. So I wont be too lonely this Holiday month :-)
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
The "Ex" rant (not about my ex) hehe
I wrote something like this before and posted it, but deleted it a couple days later because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But now after certain events unfolded, I really don't care now. lol.
A really good friend of mine was dating a guy that still had pictures of his ex wife up in his facebook. Now, I never knock anyone for the shit they put up on their facebook, trust me I don't judge, BUT!!! when you have pictures of your ex wife, in kissing pics and in an album called the "Wifey" and you're officially dating another girl, and you're constantly on FB, fully aware of the pics you have... that's pretty shitty imo.
I still have a pic of Jace on my FB but its from when we were in Cali for Blizzcon. Hello?!!??! Blizzcon, you don't hide those pics. and it was a pic not indicating that we were a couple so it was ok to keep up.
This same rule applies for people that have ex's, are not dating, but are openly looking. You still have those "couple" pics of you and your ex. That to me right there tells me that there's still feelings. If there wasn't, then take if off. Simple fix right? and the girls/guys that you are trying to "talk to" will not have a reason to keep their distance. I'm in a situation where I'm keeping my distance. You can't point it out to them, they need to take it down themselves. I have no right to tell someone what to keep up and what to take down. I just know how I see things, and if people don't see them the same way as I do. Then I move on. No harm no foul :-)
A really good friend of mine was dating a guy that still had pictures of his ex wife up in his facebook. Now, I never knock anyone for the shit they put up on their facebook, trust me I don't judge, BUT!!! when you have pictures of your ex wife, in kissing pics and in an album called the "Wifey" and you're officially dating another girl, and you're constantly on FB, fully aware of the pics you have... that's pretty shitty imo.
I still have a pic of Jace on my FB but its from when we were in Cali for Blizzcon. Hello?!!??! Blizzcon, you don't hide those pics. and it was a pic not indicating that we were a couple so it was ok to keep up.
This same rule applies for people that have ex's, are not dating, but are openly looking. You still have those "couple" pics of you and your ex. That to me right there tells me that there's still feelings. If there wasn't, then take if off. Simple fix right? and the girls/guys that you are trying to "talk to" will not have a reason to keep their distance. I'm in a situation where I'm keeping my distance. You can't point it out to them, they need to take it down themselves. I have no right to tell someone what to keep up and what to take down. I just know how I see things, and if people don't see them the same way as I do. Then I move on. No harm no foul :-)
Monday, October 28, 2013
Dead Mouse Fuzzy hat!!!!!
Brit got me a birthday gift, and I think it's so fuckin awesome!...She got it at an adult store so I really figured the X's on them were because of the porn stuff and all, But when I just read the packaging it says "Dead Mouse Fuzzy Hat" lols I was sooo wrong, meh, fuzzy dead mouse hats are awesome!!!!
And the first thing she said to me was "If you dont like it, I can return it"... Ummmm Hello?!!?!? yeah right!!!! I fuckin love it!
Living Alone question
So about a week ago a friend asked me, How do I do it?, How do I live by myself.
She's only ever lived with her mom and then with her mom and daughter(she's a single mom). I really didn't have an exact answer for her. As much as I would like to have, I didn't.
This would be my ideal answer: "It's fuckin awesome, I do what ever the fuck I want to and no one says shit..." and more random stuff that would make it seem so easy and puts everyone's mind at ease about living by themselves.
This is my honest personal experience answer:
As scary as the idea was initially at the time, I was terrified. The fact that I needed to get used to it for the first month or so and crying every night to get over my loneliness and the quiet solitude that was going to come along with it, was a very hard pill to swallow.
The jist of how I ended up living by myself, I was told I needed to find another place to live.
When I lived with Jace, and he got his new girlfriend, I still had every intention of still being his roommate in the next place the 3 of us would get, and he was cool with that, bills would be split, I said 3 ways because hello, there was 3 of us. She wasn't working at the time and I said ok then, he'll be paying 2/3, only fuckin fair right? and the look on his face was a disapproving one.
My computer set up was right by the front door downstairs, if I wasn't at work, I was always on the computer, so they had to pass me. And apparently my attitude and "aura" wtf ever, I was giving off was very negative and they felt like they needed to walk on eggshells around me and it made them feel uncomfortable. And that is how I was kicked out. lol, you get the idea.
I've never lived by myself and I was scared to think about it. Not so much the loneliness, but the money side of it more so... I can't afford it, I can't afford to live by myself, with bills and having to buy food, household stuff, etc. I don't have a license, a car, the ability to just go somewhere when I need to. So I'm kinda strapped. But luckily I do have excellent friends that ask me if I need anything from a store and they would take me. I'm never the one to take advantage of anyone like that, although they never see it that way and sometimes drag me along anyways. lol. I love my friends. anywhos, I will on occasion accept and they know how grateful I am because I don't let them do it without me giving them money, they try to decline it, but I find a way to make them take it :-) I am very aware of my spendings now, I make sure bills always comes first, and then food, and then house stuff, and very rarely do I spend money on dumb stuff for myself. And I always seem to have money left over at the end of the month. Microsoft Excel is like my best friend.
Bottom line is:... I take it one day at a time. I will get better at this living by myself. Dont worry about Skully, she'll get through anything.
She's only ever lived with her mom and then with her mom and daughter(she's a single mom). I really didn't have an exact answer for her. As much as I would like to have, I didn't.
This would be my ideal answer: "It's fuckin awesome, I do what ever the fuck I want to and no one says shit..." and more random stuff that would make it seem so easy and puts everyone's mind at ease about living by themselves.
This is my honest personal experience answer:
As scary as the idea was initially at the time, I was terrified. The fact that I needed to get used to it for the first month or so and crying every night to get over my loneliness and the quiet solitude that was going to come along with it, was a very hard pill to swallow.
The jist of how I ended up living by myself, I was told I needed to find another place to live.
When I lived with Jace, and he got his new girlfriend, I still had every intention of still being his roommate in the next place the 3 of us would get, and he was cool with that, bills would be split, I said 3 ways because hello, there was 3 of us. She wasn't working at the time and I said ok then, he'll be paying 2/3, only fuckin fair right? and the look on his face was a disapproving one.
My computer set up was right by the front door downstairs, if I wasn't at work, I was always on the computer, so they had to pass me. And apparently my attitude and "aura" wtf ever, I was giving off was very negative and they felt like they needed to walk on eggshells around me and it made them feel uncomfortable. And that is how I was kicked out. lol, you get the idea.
I've never lived by myself and I was scared to think about it. Not so much the loneliness, but the money side of it more so... I can't afford it, I can't afford to live by myself, with bills and having to buy food, household stuff, etc. I don't have a license, a car, the ability to just go somewhere when I need to. So I'm kinda strapped. But luckily I do have excellent friends that ask me if I need anything from a store and they would take me. I'm never the one to take advantage of anyone like that, although they never see it that way and sometimes drag me along anyways. lol. I love my friends. anywhos, I will on occasion accept and they know how grateful I am because I don't let them do it without me giving them money, they try to decline it, but I find a way to make them take it :-) I am very aware of my spendings now, I make sure bills always comes first, and then food, and then house stuff, and very rarely do I spend money on dumb stuff for myself. And I always seem to have money left over at the end of the month. Microsoft Excel is like my best friend.
Bottom line is:... I take it one day at a time. I will get better at this living by myself. Dont worry about Skully, she'll get through anything.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Mean girls... I dont understand
Ok so I have several friends, if you can call them that, that are terribly mean. Not to me personally, but to others. I don't understand how one can make fun of big and different girls when they haven't even done anything to them. And they claim that they were picked on and made fun of when they were kids in high school and yet they are doing the exact same thing now. If I'm not mistaken, I believe it's considered to be "cyber bullying".
Being one of those outcasts that were made fun of and picked on I would never imagine maliciously make fun of someone because of how they looked and or the weird things they do. I can stand up for myself now and if anyone chose to start something, I can make them very sorry they ever decided to, BUT I will never allow myself to ever be put in that situation. I mind my own business and I make fun of no one else but myself.
Facebook is a big pool of drama. Any social media site is for that matter. But the only one I can currently speak of right now is that one. I post dumb stuff. My intentions are to mostly make people laugh majority of the time at the expense of myself. And I think I accomplish that very well. I have no shame and I say what I want. But like I've said before it never is to bash anyone. When people go on a rant when they are upset at what other people posts, as innocent at it is, it amazes me how much it gets under peoples skin. Who cares if someone takes selfies... who cares if people posts how much they love their husbands... who cares if a bigger girl want to dress in a small skirt and post pics of themselves looking all ratchet (confidence? either way)... who cares if someone posts tons of pics of their families, or the food they ate for dinner... who cares if people sends you game requests. It's not the most terrible things that they're posting, its not hurting anyone, but it makes the people who are "ranting" or "bullying" seem like petty, jealous, unhappy, miserable, drama queens that are just looking for a fight or simply for attention...
but that is all just my opinion. I like attention too, but not that kind. I'm not mean... I know I have a good heart... crazy brain and odd personality... but nonetheless a good heart. And I always say I can lose the weight, but you can't change your ugly heart.
Being one of those outcasts that were made fun of and picked on I would never imagine maliciously make fun of someone because of how they looked and or the weird things they do. I can stand up for myself now and if anyone chose to start something, I can make them very sorry they ever decided to, BUT I will never allow myself to ever be put in that situation. I mind my own business and I make fun of no one else but myself.
Facebook is a big pool of drama. Any social media site is for that matter. But the only one I can currently speak of right now is that one. I post dumb stuff. My intentions are to mostly make people laugh majority of the time at the expense of myself. And I think I accomplish that very well. I have no shame and I say what I want. But like I've said before it never is to bash anyone. When people go on a rant when they are upset at what other people posts, as innocent at it is, it amazes me how much it gets under peoples skin. Who cares if someone takes selfies... who cares if people posts how much they love their husbands... who cares if a bigger girl want to dress in a small skirt and post pics of themselves looking all ratchet (confidence? either way)... who cares if someone posts tons of pics of their families, or the food they ate for dinner... who cares if people sends you game requests. It's not the most terrible things that they're posting, its not hurting anyone, but it makes the people who are "ranting" or "bullying" seem like petty, jealous, unhappy, miserable, drama queens that are just looking for a fight or simply for attention...
but that is all just my opinion. I like attention too, but not that kind. I'm not mean... I know I have a good heart... crazy brain and odd personality... but nonetheless a good heart. And I always say I can lose the weight, but you can't change your ugly heart.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
life update and minor vent session
Alright since the last time I wrote, I was trying to make a vlog. well I made videos but couldn't get them to upload on this site properly. So I saw there was the you tube upload option. So I did that and it worked. I made several videos and made several vlog entries on here, but put them back in "drafts" as they are too weird. Yeah I know, me caring about the weird things I do. but I pulled them because they were pointless. kinda like my regular typed entries... haha, anywhos lets get back to what has happened since that last blog...
So I got my own place. It's easier to get to work. It's a bit bigger then I expected, and yes I did come to see the place before signing a lease, but thought my stuff would fill out the place. Seriously, I could fit all my shit in my bedroom.. and I have a lot of shit. It does get lonely, I think I cried the first 2 nights I was here. sadness I know. I talk to myself alot more, but that's just crazy me and I was always like that. Getting into music again. I need to update my iPod with current stuff, cuz everything is oooooold as fuck. It's sad I don't know alot of new bands out there. People tell me all the time, Oh Skully, you like to listen to so and so... and I'm like who?... makes me feel so old and out of date. Meh, but most likely the old shit is faaaar better then the new crap that's flooding the radio stations these days I guess... But I wouldn't know, because I don't even listen to the radio. lol
I've been burying myself in work as of late. Staying later to get shit done, not taking breaks or lunches. feeling like I'm gonna freak out at work. I sort of did yesterday. Strongly worded email venting some frustrations, but nothing serious or job jeopardizing. Finding another job is not a far fetched idea either. I'll give it till the end of the year before I start making rash decisions, then again, it might not be considered a rash decision. I know I'm worth more and I do so much more for that store then I should. One day it'll sink in and I'll do something about it... but that days is not today.
It's slightly an insecurity thing, but mainly it's a "I know what the fuck I look like with my clothes off and it ain't pretty" mentality... why do guys always think that all girls look hot naked... I am definatly someone that knows I look a hell of a lot better with my clothes ON. and I always say that, I've never been one to say otherwise. When I say it, it's more of like a warning to them. But then there are the ones that really like you for the person that you are and it don't matter what your body looks like. I thought I had someone like that. I'm sure my own body hang ups probably lead to the problems we had, but when I get told that the "other person's" body was perfect, that's when you feel like shit all over again. But meh. whatever, it is what it is. I can't do anything about it. If I was rich I probably would get plastic surgery. no, not probably, I definitely would. And lypo wouldn't be something I would get. I've lost close to 100 lbs before on my own, and I'm trying so hard to do it again. I'm half way there.
Yay me!
Haven't been playing WoW a lot lately. No real reason, just haven't had the time. Well besides, the 4 people I played with the most has temporarily left the game. Monk moved back home, Bevy and Steven are taking a break, and Jugga is playing other MMOs. I don't feel like I've been abandoned at all lols sadness. j/k I actually slowed down because I'm trying to pretend that my life doesn't suck balls and work, make money, pay my bills, and do what ever the fuck I want with no one nagging the shit out of me.
I'm tired, it's only 7. I think Ima go to sleep!!!
So I got my own place. It's easier to get to work. It's a bit bigger then I expected, and yes I did come to see the place before signing a lease, but thought my stuff would fill out the place. Seriously, I could fit all my shit in my bedroom.. and I have a lot of shit. It does get lonely, I think I cried the first 2 nights I was here. sadness I know. I talk to myself alot more, but that's just crazy me and I was always like that. Getting into music again. I need to update my iPod with current stuff, cuz everything is oooooold as fuck. It's sad I don't know alot of new bands out there. People tell me all the time, Oh Skully, you like to listen to so and so... and I'm like who?... makes me feel so old and out of date. Meh, but most likely the old shit is faaaar better then the new crap that's flooding the radio stations these days I guess... But I wouldn't know, because I don't even listen to the radio. lol
I've been burying myself in work as of late. Staying later to get shit done, not taking breaks or lunches. feeling like I'm gonna freak out at work. I sort of did yesterday. Strongly worded email venting some frustrations, but nothing serious or job jeopardizing. Finding another job is not a far fetched idea either. I'll give it till the end of the year before I start making rash decisions, then again, it might not be considered a rash decision. I know I'm worth more and I do so much more for that store then I should. One day it'll sink in and I'll do something about it... but that days is not today.
It's slightly an insecurity thing, but mainly it's a "I know what the fuck I look like with my clothes off and it ain't pretty" mentality... why do guys always think that all girls look hot naked... I am definatly someone that knows I look a hell of a lot better with my clothes ON. and I always say that, I've never been one to say otherwise. When I say it, it's more of like a warning to them. But then there are the ones that really like you for the person that you are and it don't matter what your body looks like. I thought I had someone like that. I'm sure my own body hang ups probably lead to the problems we had, but when I get told that the "other person's" body was perfect, that's when you feel like shit all over again. But meh. whatever, it is what it is. I can't do anything about it. If I was rich I probably would get plastic surgery. no, not probably, I definitely would. And lypo wouldn't be something I would get. I've lost close to 100 lbs before on my own, and I'm trying so hard to do it again. I'm half way there.
Yay me!
Haven't been playing WoW a lot lately. No real reason, just haven't had the time. Well besides, the 4 people I played with the most has temporarily left the game. Monk moved back home, Bevy and Steven are taking a break, and Jugga is playing other MMOs. I don't feel like I've been abandoned at all lols sadness. j/k I actually slowed down because I'm trying to pretend that my life doesn't suck balls and work, make money, pay my bills, and do what ever the fuck I want with no one nagging the shit out of me.
I'm tired, it's only 7. I think Ima go to sleep!!!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
... and i was not surprised
So today was the day I was pretty much told that I need to find another place to live. Not in so many words but that was the gist of it. It was denied that that was the intended result, but I can read between the lines. They smacked me right in the face and I have a feeling it came because of something that happened today. But it was bound to happen eventually so why not have it done sooner. Like a bandaid. Sucks because I think I just got put in debt because of the latest transaction that was made on my credit card for them... /sigh, you live you learn right.
I can do it, and if not... Family in Hawaii want me to come home and I might have to listen this time.
I can do it, and if not... Family in Hawaii want me to come home and I might have to listen this time.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Silly people, I don't need help.
Someone told me that drinking alone every night is not the solution...
I'm not really looking for a solution, because I really don't have a question that needs answering.... Or a problem that needs solving.
I have issues, yes... I'm not denying that...
Maybe I do need a Therapist, but at the moment I think I can deal with shit myself...
Why pay someone thousands of dollars to listen to my problems when I can just tell my problems to a yummy alcoholic beverage. and guess what, they don't try to shove bullshit in your face telling you you need anti-depressants and some other crap like that. Besides the occasional lonely moodiness I think my head is on right and I deal just fine.
I have my freakouts, but no one is ever around to see them or get hurt. That is never my intention.
I honestly think people find me weird and I know this for a fact because people have told me so.
Real friends are the ones that let me march to the beat of my own nutty drum and like me just the same. I only know a handful of those people. I see myself only counting them on one hand.
I'm tired... good night
I'm not really looking for a solution, because I really don't have a question that needs answering.... Or a problem that needs solving.
I have issues, yes... I'm not denying that...
Maybe I do need a Therapist, but at the moment I think I can deal with shit myself...
Why pay someone thousands of dollars to listen to my problems when I can just tell my problems to a yummy alcoholic beverage. and guess what, they don't try to shove bullshit in your face telling you you need anti-depressants and some other crap like that. Besides the occasional lonely moodiness I think my head is on right and I deal just fine.
I have my freakouts, but no one is ever around to see them or get hurt. That is never my intention.
I honestly think people find me weird and I know this for a fact because people have told me so.
Real friends are the ones that let me march to the beat of my own nutty drum and like me just the same. I only know a handful of those people. I see myself only counting them on one hand.
I'm tired... good night
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