Caught up with an old friend today. He asked me if I regret meeting my longest relationship guy...I do not regret it. If I never met him, I would not have ever moved away from Hawaii. I would not have left the only home I knew for 27 years of my life. I would never know what it was like to be on my own and having to support myself. I would not have met all the great friends I have made here.
It's cheaper to live here then it is in Hawaii, everyone knows that. If I stayed I would always be dependent on my family in some way. In my opinion, In Hawaii, unless you have a great paying job, a roomie, or a second income you can't ever leave home. I always say if I can do it, anyone can do it. I'm not smart, obviously, so really anyone can do it :-)
My independence here is a lot of the reason I don't go back. Everytime pops comes to visit he always asks when I'm coming back home. Sometimes I think it would be better if I did. Easier. Closer to family whom I miss so much. But that won't help me. I'll just be going backwards.I have no family here but the friends I have are just that for me. As much as I miss my family I see them often. Indeed Vegas is the "9th Island". So many Hawaii people and family comes here to visit so much that I don't completely get lonely.
I haven't went through hard shit in my life like a lot of people. I might have turned out differently if I had. Maybe just to have the experience of it all I might view things and handle things in my life differently as well. Hearing stories of what friends went through in their lives does make me thankful that I haven't had first hand experience, and I can't relate, but I do sympathize. Pulls at the heart strings ya know. Do not mistake it for pity, It's sympathy and concern coming off on my end.For the most part I'm doing OK. I keep to myself and I entertain myself. No dramas, just me... living my life.
Just thought of something kinda depressing for my parents... Between their four kids, they ain't getting any grandchildren. LMAO. Sorry that was soooo not very funny... kinda was... no it wasn't. I know they say it's not a big deal and if that's what we want then it will happen, etc. But isn't that what parent's live for... to have grandchildren? To multiply their family?... for their minions to make more minions? I don't know. Mish! get on it!! eww kidding. I went backwards in that department so I'm a lost cause apparently. Not feeling bad for myself or anything, it just is what it is.
Not too sure where this entry is going right now, kinda went off topic and just started rambling, like usual. I didn't finish this one all in one sitting either, I started it several days ago so that might have been why I was bit scattered on the content. Then I just searched for "family quotes" for pics and that didn't turn up good ones I liked, then I searched for "lonely quotes" and it just got depressing.
In my eyes being lonely sucks, but it's a good thing in a lot of ways. You get used to it, and you know how to handle it without completely breaking down and going nuts. I've been to that point, and then friends always pulls me out. Whether it be going to hang out or just talking on the phone. I'm always concerned about others before myself. I was concerned for my sister far more then myself for the past couple of years, but now she has roommates, my parents and I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing she has the constant companionship of people to socialize with. She being all the way in Minnesota, family will naturally get concerned.Anyways, I'm over this entry. I've rambled enough for my own good.
